Boy what a start to the day, I woke up having not slept well and my knees hurt and that pinch in my right hip butt area was acting up. I'm not sure if it's the weather or if I pushed too hard exercising yesterday. I just had absolutely no energy today. I'm getting old... that must be it...lol.
Although I did not go to the gym today I walked as much as possible while on duty and on break. I walked to Subway for a Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki and took the long way back to work. As my day proceeded the more lethargic I became. On top of having no energy I felt really hungry and my depression was trying to kick into high gear. Don't fall apart Cheri don't... just keeping hanging in there.
When I headed on route my feelings seems to be shelved for a while. I did feel like the sudden high temp. today kinda through me for a loop. I really prefer 60 degrees... not 85 over night. I know I know summer is here and I better get used to it again and fast. Will the heat affect my desire to exercise?
Speaking of desire... I did want to exercise but considering all my physical ailments decided to just do casual exercise and stretches instead of a intense workout. I'm glad my slump day is about over because i am ready to hit the gym again tomorrow. My foods and liquids were pretty good today.
Here are yesterdays final numbers:
Targets set by Armband: 3303 calories burned, 5000 steps and 30 min moderate exercise
Actual for 3/30/2010: 4215 calories burned, 12,911 steps, 49 min moderate exercise and 51 min vigorous exercise
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
The tough get going
When the going gets tough, the tough get going. I need to make that my motto and not allow the stress of life to overwhelm me. I got off to a decent start today and after route I hit the gym hard and I do mean hard. I didn't want any excuse to not exercise for at least one full hour.
I spent 35 min on the treadmill going up and down steep hills and it was at a good fast pace for these chubby legs of mine. After that I went directly to the recumbent cross trainer and pushed it hard for an additional 35 minutes. I was sopping wet when I left there but I will admit to feeling much better than when I started.
I am scared to try the elliptical because of my knees... that and the fact most machines have a went limit of 250lbs. I need an industrial strength machine and I don't want to walk up and say " Hey will this thing hold me or will I break it" lol.
I have decided at least for now just to concentrate on cardio mainly from the treadmill and the cross trainer until I lose more weight and my body has strengthened. I can still do my exercise ball and stretches at home as well as my wii fit workouts.
My diet was also pretty good today and I didn't get all of my fluids in but almost. It sure was a beautiful day today... windy but beautiful! I will continue to work on being tougher of body, mind and spirit. I hope that someday what I am going through can help someone else do the same thing. Until later..
Here are yesterdays final numbers:
Targets set by Armband: 3303 calories burned, 5000 steps and 30 min moderate exercise
Actual for 3/29/2010: 3413 calories burned, 7,784 steps, 37 min moderate exercise and 08 min vigorous exercise
I spent 35 min on the treadmill going up and down steep hills and it was at a good fast pace for these chubby legs of mine. After that I went directly to the recumbent cross trainer and pushed it hard for an additional 35 minutes. I was sopping wet when I left there but I will admit to feeling much better than when I started.
I am scared to try the elliptical because of my knees... that and the fact most machines have a went limit of 250lbs. I need an industrial strength machine and I don't want to walk up and say " Hey will this thing hold me or will I break it" lol.
I have decided at least for now just to concentrate on cardio mainly from the treadmill and the cross trainer until I lose more weight and my body has strengthened. I can still do my exercise ball and stretches at home as well as my wii fit workouts.
My diet was also pretty good today and I didn't get all of my fluids in but almost. It sure was a beautiful day today... windy but beautiful! I will continue to work on being tougher of body, mind and spirit. I hope that someday what I am going through can help someone else do the same thing. Until later..
Here are yesterdays final numbers:
Targets set by Armband: 3303 calories burned, 5000 steps and 30 min moderate exercise
Actual for 3/29/2010: 3413 calories burned, 7,784 steps, 37 min moderate exercise and 08 min vigorous exercise
Monday, March 29, 2010
Monday Blues
It's a Monday that's for sure. My morning got off to a rough start and never really got better. I'm dealing with a bout of depression and struggling emotionally. At the same time I'm dealing with the depression I'm slowly feeling better about my weight loss efforts. None of this really makes any sense to me. How can I feel worse and better at the same time. The stress in my life right now is overwhelming yet I have the desire to try to beat this fat hanging all over my body. Part of me wants to cry from sadness and the other part wants to stand up and cheer for my accomplishment so far.
After my route and office time I went home and did the laundry.... went up and down the stairs a bunch. I ate a good lunch and then it was time for afternoon route. My plan was to workout right after work but I got pulled aside by several people then I didn't have time to. I should have gone right after my office shift then there would have been nothing stopping me.
My Walk Kansas team is really struggling so I feel the need to make up for their short comings. Three of our six member team are putting in at least the minimums but that's not enough to make up for the other three. I want us to succeed but I guess I need to accept things I cannot change and just focus on my own success.
Over all it was a long day and I got the basic home exercise in but was it enough? I guess we will see. On April 1st I will be adjusting my target numbers to slowly increase my activity etc. I want to challenge myself a bit more.
Here are yesterdays final numbers:
Targets set by Armband: 3303 calories burned, 5000 steps and 30 min moderate exercise
Actual for 3/28/2010: 3505 calories burned, 10,607 steps, 44 min moderate exercise and 26 min vigorous exercise
After my route and office time I went home and did the laundry.... went up and down the stairs a bunch. I ate a good lunch and then it was time for afternoon route. My plan was to workout right after work but I got pulled aside by several people then I didn't have time to. I should have gone right after my office shift then there would have been nothing stopping me.
My Walk Kansas team is really struggling so I feel the need to make up for their short comings. Three of our six member team are putting in at least the minimums but that's not enough to make up for the other three. I want us to succeed but I guess I need to accept things I cannot change and just focus on my own success.
Over all it was a long day and I got the basic home exercise in but was it enough? I guess we will see. On April 1st I will be adjusting my target numbers to slowly increase my activity etc. I want to challenge myself a bit more.
Here are yesterdays final numbers:
Targets set by Armband: 3303 calories burned, 5000 steps and 30 min moderate exercise
Actual for 3/28/2010: 3505 calories burned, 10,607 steps, 44 min moderate exercise and 26 min vigorous exercise
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Made up today for yesterday
Good Evening I hope this finds you all well. I got up bright and early today and the kids and I made it to Church today for the first time in the last couple of weeks. Right after Church got out at 1pm the two girls and I hit the gym and put in a full hour working hard. I put in 30 min on the treadmill at a nice fast pace then an additional 30 min on the recumbent cross trainer with no break and just pushed myself hard.
It is true what they say that when someone thinks they can't continue if they keep pushing they will break through that wall and get a second wind... that happened to me today. I was on the cross trainer and both girls were to my right and they were slowing and asking when we were going to stop and I said in another 15 min. They were counting down the minutes and I got my second wind... I started smiling and next thing you know I'm telling the girls to pick up the pace...lol. It was a great feeling to be the fat mom telling the two skinny daughters to pick it up and keep moving. I left there today with a great feeling of accomplishment.
I hope I remember that feeling when I feel like crap and don't want to exercise. This is exactly why I decided to start blogging. I've never been good at writing in a journal so this is a neat way to document my day to day activities and feelings where I can come back and read it again later as well as share with others. Well it's time for me to share my numbers from yesterday but please keep in mind that I had little to no aerobic exercise.
Here are yesterdays final numbers:
Targets set by Armband: 3303 calories burned, 5000 steps and 30 min moderate exercise
Actual for 3/27/2010: 2802 calories burned, 4524 steps, 19 min moderate exercise and 0 min vigorous exercise
It is true what they say that when someone thinks they can't continue if they keep pushing they will break through that wall and get a second wind... that happened to me today. I was on the cross trainer and both girls were to my right and they were slowing and asking when we were going to stop and I said in another 15 min. They were counting down the minutes and I got my second wind... I started smiling and next thing you know I'm telling the girls to pick up the pace...lol. It was a great feeling to be the fat mom telling the two skinny daughters to pick it up and keep moving. I left there today with a great feeling of accomplishment.
I hope I remember that feeling when I feel like crap and don't want to exercise. This is exactly why I decided to start blogging. I've never been good at writing in a journal so this is a neat way to document my day to day activities and feelings where I can come back and read it again later as well as share with others. Well it's time for me to share my numbers from yesterday but please keep in mind that I had little to no aerobic exercise.
Here are yesterdays final numbers:
Targets set by Armband: 3303 calories burned, 5000 steps and 30 min moderate exercise
Actual for 3/27/2010: 2802 calories burned, 4524 steps, 19 min moderate exercise and 0 min vigorous exercise
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Busy Day
Well it was a very busy day today. I slept in late this morning which was very much needed. I got up ate breakfast and went back to bed for a nap...lol. We had a busy day in store with the Flint Hills Tech College Open House and enrollment. I will soon have not one, not two but three of my kids going to the Tech College. Joshua Levi is currently going to the Tech college doing computer networking, programing and design. He will graduate in Dec this year. Janaya is now enrolled for Dental Asst. and starts in Aug after graduating from EHS this May. Janessa will also be attending the Tech college in the H.O.T. program in Aug. while she is attending EHS as a senior. I am so proud of my kids!
Okay now back to the topic of this blog. Since we didn't get home from the Tech College until about 5pm it was time to get supper around and feed everyone and the weekend craziness had taken over so I didn't get any formal exercise in. I should have planned my day better but didn't realize how long we would be at the college. Before I knew it dinner had come and gone and everyone was wrapped up in a movie in the living room so I only got a little walking and stretches in for the day... nothing cardio to speak of.
Tomorrow I will have to work extra hard to make up for the lack of exercise today. I feel a little guilty but I guess that's how things go in life... as long as it doesn't happen everyday.
Here are yesterdays final numbers:
Targets set by Armband: 3303 calories burned, 5000 steps and 30 min moderate exercise
Actual for 3/26/2010: 3773 calories burned, 10,222 steps, 56 min moderate exercise and 9 min vigorous exercise
Okay now back to the topic of this blog. Since we didn't get home from the Tech College until about 5pm it was time to get supper around and feed everyone and the weekend craziness had taken over so I didn't get any formal exercise in. I should have planned my day better but didn't realize how long we would be at the college. Before I knew it dinner had come and gone and everyone was wrapped up in a movie in the living room so I only got a little walking and stretches in for the day... nothing cardio to speak of.
Tomorrow I will have to work extra hard to make up for the lack of exercise today. I feel a little guilty but I guess that's how things go in life... as long as it doesn't happen everyday.
Here are yesterdays final numbers:
Targets set by Armband: 3303 calories burned, 5000 steps and 30 min moderate exercise
Actual for 3/26/2010: 3773 calories burned, 10,222 steps, 56 min moderate exercise and 9 min vigorous exercise
Friday, March 26, 2010
Almost gave in to laziness today
Good Evening! I was completely miserable this morning and had absolutely no desire to exercise. My shins, back and right hip hurt. I thought the draggy butts yesterday were bad but they doubled today. My liquid intake was not as good as it should have been today. I only got in about 90oz of water compared to the 150oz I have been getting. My eating was good until late afternoon then slipped a little.
On break at 10:15am I came home and it was all I could do to hold my eyes open...geeez I wanted to go to bed bad. I did get a quick 15 minute power nap before heading back to work for PM route. While waiting at EMS for school to dismiss another driver "K" came to the bus and asked if I wanted to walk for a few minutes. She could tell by the look on my face that I wasn't motivated so she said come on lets go. Five or ten minutes is five or ten minutes so I'm glad she grabbed me.
Once again at the Elementary School I was putting off making my 10 or 15 minute layover productive. I kept telling myself that I would workout after work while I waited for Doug to come get me since he had my car. After that thought I decided maybe I just wasn't up to it today... maybe just take a day off...maybe. The justification process has begun...lol.
When I finally finished work I told myself " Cheri you need to do this even if just a slow walk instead of fast...just do something". All I could think of were my aches and pains and how worn out I was feeling, but you will be happy to know that I saw the light! Yes I just DID IT! I walked next door to Emporia Fitness and got on that treadmill all by myself and got my butt moving and I felt better. I kept think good for you Cheri you didn't let the draggy butts win. I got my time in on the treadmill and the recumbent cross trainer too. (Cheri pats herself on the back)
This is not easy and and it hurts but I shall overcome these stupid little bumps in the road and keep walking to reach my goal. It has been almost exactly a month since I started my change in life my nutrition and exercise with the help of my Go Wear Fit arm band and I have now lost 11.5lbs. That put me just under 3lbs fat loss a week with my goal being 2lbs a week so i am just above my mark and slowly plugging along.
Here are yesterdays final numbers:
Targets set by Armband: 3303 calories burned, 5000 steps and 30 min moderate exercise
Actual for 3/25/2010: 3776 calories burned, 9,169 steps, 75 min moderate exercise and 8 min vigorous exercise
On break at 10:15am I came home and it was all I could do to hold my eyes open...geeez I wanted to go to bed bad. I did get a quick 15 minute power nap before heading back to work for PM route. While waiting at EMS for school to dismiss another driver "K" came to the bus and asked if I wanted to walk for a few minutes. She could tell by the look on my face that I wasn't motivated so she said come on lets go. Five or ten minutes is five or ten minutes so I'm glad she grabbed me.
Once again at the Elementary School I was putting off making my 10 or 15 minute layover productive. I kept telling myself that I would workout after work while I waited for Doug to come get me since he had my car. After that thought I decided maybe I just wasn't up to it today... maybe just take a day off...maybe. The justification process has begun...lol.
When I finally finished work I told myself " Cheri you need to do this even if just a slow walk instead of fast...just do something". All I could think of were my aches and pains and how worn out I was feeling, but you will be happy to know that I saw the light! Yes I just DID IT! I walked next door to Emporia Fitness and got on that treadmill all by myself and got my butt moving and I felt better. I kept think good for you Cheri you didn't let the draggy butts win. I got my time in on the treadmill and the recumbent cross trainer too. (Cheri pats herself on the back)
This is not easy and and it hurts but I shall overcome these stupid little bumps in the road and keep walking to reach my goal. It has been almost exactly a month since I started my change in life my nutrition and exercise with the help of my Go Wear Fit arm band and I have now lost 11.5lbs. That put me just under 3lbs fat loss a week with my goal being 2lbs a week so i am just above my mark and slowly plugging along.
Here are yesterdays final numbers:
Targets set by Armband: 3303 calories burned, 5000 steps and 30 min moderate exercise
Actual for 3/25/2010: 3776 calories burned, 9,169 steps, 75 min moderate exercise and 8 min vigorous exercise
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Wasn't sure I would make it
Oh my was this morning rough for me. It was all I could do to get out of bed and get moving I just felt so tired and exhausted and sore. Starting the day off with the draggy butts is not what I had in mind but once I got moving I did better.
After AM route I put in 15 minutes with resistance bands then my friend "C" and I went to the walking trail between EHS and EMS and got in a good long walk. It was 42 degrees out when we went and he was wearing his coat but I was worried about getting too hot if I wore my jacket so I left it in the car. That cool air was beyond refreshing. He said I'm freezing so I told him to walk faster and he would warm up...lol. Needless to say by the time our walk was over we were both sweating even me the one without a jacket and wearing short sleeves.
I just love Aldi stores they do a great job of providing quality products at a reasonable price. I stocked up today on my diet foods to have at work and I got a bunch! I did buy more fruits and veggies too, as I have not been eating as many of them as I should. Shame on me!
This afternoon when I was sitting at the Elementary school waiting for school to dismiss I decided to exercise/dance to music in my bus. If you ever see me dancing in my bus by myself just turn and walk the other way...hehehe. Gosh I hope my boss never watches the bus video and see's me dancing between the seats. I can just hear her sitting in her office laughing her butt off.
This evening has been fairly quiet so far and I am on my mark for meeting all of my daily exercise goals. Here in a little while I will do my 50+ ball sit ups before I get ready for bed. I met my water intake for the day again...yippie! I love crystal light. Thanks Heavenly Father for helping me over the hump this morning I needed it.
Here are yesterdays final numbers:
Targets set by Armband: 3303 calories burned, 5000 steps and 30 min moderate exercise
Actual for 3/24/2010: 4125 calories burned, 11,406 steps, 86 min moderate exercise and 6 min vigorous exercise
After AM route I put in 15 minutes with resistance bands then my friend "C" and I went to the walking trail between EHS and EMS and got in a good long walk. It was 42 degrees out when we went and he was wearing his coat but I was worried about getting too hot if I wore my jacket so I left it in the car. That cool air was beyond refreshing. He said I'm freezing so I told him to walk faster and he would warm up...lol. Needless to say by the time our walk was over we were both sweating even me the one without a jacket and wearing short sleeves.
I just love Aldi stores they do a great job of providing quality products at a reasonable price. I stocked up today on my diet foods to have at work and I got a bunch! I did buy more fruits and veggies too, as I have not been eating as many of them as I should. Shame on me!
This afternoon when I was sitting at the Elementary school waiting for school to dismiss I decided to exercise/dance to music in my bus. If you ever see me dancing in my bus by myself just turn and walk the other way...hehehe. Gosh I hope my boss never watches the bus video and see's me dancing between the seats. I can just hear her sitting in her office laughing her butt off.
This evening has been fairly quiet so far and I am on my mark for meeting all of my daily exercise goals. Here in a little while I will do my 50+ ball sit ups before I get ready for bed. I met my water intake for the day again...yippie! I love crystal light. Thanks Heavenly Father for helping me over the hump this morning I needed it.
Here are yesterdays final numbers:
Targets set by Armband: 3303 calories burned, 5000 steps and 30 min moderate exercise
Actual for 3/24/2010: 4125 calories burned, 11,406 steps, 86 min moderate exercise and 6 min vigorous exercise
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Damp Day
Today started out damp and cool I was a bit achy from my exercise from the two previous days. I really didn't want to get out of the bed this morning...anyone else have that problem? I'm trying to find ways to keep my body moving more so in between routes I have five minutes down time so while sitting there I did little stretches etc. I have just not been a very physically active person the last few years and so I guess that's why my Bus Drivers butt has gotten so big...lol. I have got to start moving more even the little things will help me in the long run.
I ended up covering a noon route as a bus aide so I had to put mid-day exercise off other than a little walking here and there. My Daughter Janaya met me after work to exercise at Emporia Fitness. I had a bad case of heartburn before going and was a little concerned it would affect my workout but luckily it didn't. I suffer from G.E.R.D. so I should have been prepared for the episode but oops I wasn't. Glad that turned out okay.
We put in 35 min on the treadmill and about 15 min on the recumbent cross trainer. I was really tired and worried I wouldn't be able to complete our planned workout but I did fight through it. When we left I was soaked with sweat, panting, red in the face and even though I struggled it felt good to finish. Doug (my hubby) wanted to know why I was the only one sweating...lol.
After getting home I parked my tubby butt in the recliner and put my feet up...ahhh. A little later I got the exercise ball out and did 50 sit-ups. Boy they are a lot easier on the ball than the floor and I could still feel them working plus it was entertainment for the dogs and Jamison who were watching me.
I am going to start sharing my daily numbers as displayed by my armband. These will be given the following day so that I report accurate numbers. So here are yesterdays final numbers.
Targets set by Armband: 3303 calories burned, 5000 steps and 30 min moderate exercise
Actual for 3/23/2010: 4120 calories burned, 11898 steps and 91 min moderate exercise
I ended up covering a noon route as a bus aide so I had to put mid-day exercise off other than a little walking here and there. My Daughter Janaya met me after work to exercise at Emporia Fitness. I had a bad case of heartburn before going and was a little concerned it would affect my workout but luckily it didn't. I suffer from G.E.R.D. so I should have been prepared for the episode but oops I wasn't. Glad that turned out okay.
We put in 35 min on the treadmill and about 15 min on the recumbent cross trainer. I was really tired and worried I wouldn't be able to complete our planned workout but I did fight through it. When we left I was soaked with sweat, panting, red in the face and even though I struggled it felt good to finish. Doug (my hubby) wanted to know why I was the only one sweating...lol.
After getting home I parked my tubby butt in the recliner and put my feet up...ahhh. A little later I got the exercise ball out and did 50 sit-ups. Boy they are a lot easier on the ball than the floor and I could still feel them working plus it was entertainment for the dogs and Jamison who were watching me.
I am going to start sharing my daily numbers as displayed by my armband. These will be given the following day so that I report accurate numbers. So here are yesterdays final numbers.
Targets set by Armband: 3303 calories burned, 5000 steps and 30 min moderate exercise
Actual for 3/23/2010: 4120 calories burned, 11898 steps and 91 min moderate exercise
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
A Better Day
Good Evening today was much better over all. After a good nights sleep I woke up and weighed in for the first time in a few days and I'm down one more pound bringing me to 298lbs. I was scared to weigh in last week because of my poor eating etc over Spring Break. When I hit my first 10lb loss goal I promised my daughter Janaya that we would buy Emporia Fitness tee shirts to wear to the gym. I'm now only 1lb from my first goal...yippie!
After morning bus route a few of the ladies and I went for a walk. We decided to head for the High School walking trail and I think there were about 7 or 8 of us. We walked for 25 minutes there so that was a nice jump start to the metabolism for the day. I really enjoyed the exercise and my walking buddy "A" as we had a really good talk while walking, it was good for me.
According to what I have learned about drinking of water a person needs to drink at least half of their body weight in water each day. I had realized I wasn't drinking as much water recently so I thought I would try something new. I buy a 32oz Deja Blue water on the way to work each day and if I drink five of those a day then I'm getting the minimum water intake each day for my body weight. I decided to write on my bottle numbering 1 through 5 and each time I finished a bottle I would cross off a number. I'm proud to say I finished all five bottles by 8:30pm hopefully early enough I won't be up all night peeing...lol.
After work I came home and booted my hubby out of the living room so I could have the TV. I did Wii Fit Plus so between my regular exercise and wii fit exercise I managed to get in a little over 1.5 hrs. That is pretty good but I would like to get up to 2hrs a day. My calorie intake and output today was good. If I burn 1000 calories a day more than I eat I should be able to lose approximately 2lbs a week. I think it's safe to say that it also depends on each individual person's body. Well it's about time to go as my armband is about to beep at me to go to bed. Until Tomorrow....
After morning bus route a few of the ladies and I went for a walk. We decided to head for the High School walking trail and I think there were about 7 or 8 of us. We walked for 25 minutes there so that was a nice jump start to the metabolism for the day. I really enjoyed the exercise and my walking buddy "A" as we had a really good talk while walking, it was good for me.
According to what I have learned about drinking of water a person needs to drink at least half of their body weight in water each day. I had realized I wasn't drinking as much water recently so I thought I would try something new. I buy a 32oz Deja Blue water on the way to work each day and if I drink five of those a day then I'm getting the minimum water intake each day for my body weight. I decided to write on my bottle numbering 1 through 5 and each time I finished a bottle I would cross off a number. I'm proud to say I finished all five bottles by 8:30pm hopefully early enough I won't be up all night peeing...lol.
After work I came home and booted my hubby out of the living room so I could have the TV. I did Wii Fit Plus so between my regular exercise and wii fit exercise I managed to get in a little over 1.5 hrs. That is pretty good but I would like to get up to 2hrs a day. My calorie intake and output today was good. If I burn 1000 calories a day more than I eat I should be able to lose approximately 2lbs a week. I think it's safe to say that it also depends on each individual person's body. Well it's about time to go as my armband is about to beep at me to go to bed. Until Tomorrow....
Monday, March 22, 2010
Frustration
Today is my first blog so we will see how this goes. About three weeks ago I bought a Go Wear Fit and began my journey to a healthier and happier me. I began this Journey weighing 307.5 lbs. with little to no daily exercise, unless you count walking to and from my bus every day. I am happy to say that I am currently 299 lbs and on my way. Two weeks ago we (co-workers and I) had the opportunity to participate in Walk Kansas 2010. Timing couldn't have been better since I was just beginning my own personal challenge. With that being said I have had a very rough last week or so.
Spring Break came and I spent more time trying to fix my floors and and run here and there and little to no ME time. I barely exercised and ate horribly. I feel guilty and frustrated with myself. So today was our first day back to normal routine after Spring Break and I set out to get back with the program. A co-worker was supposed to meet me at the gym after route and didn't show up. I don't know why I let it bother me so much but it did. I feel all alone with no support. I am Team Captain of our Walk Kansas team and really thought our group would stick together and support each other. I think I was wrong. I was on the treadmill and 20 minutes in when it hit me hard. Cheri you are alone! Nobody will ever be here for you. You can't depend on anyone but yourself. If you give up it's all on you. All of these thoughts and more just came rushing in. The more I thought about it the angrier I got and the harder I pushed myself. I kept watching the door hoping my friend would show... he never did. It was all I could do to keep from crying there in public. I kept composed and finished my workout putting in 50 minutes of exercise and burning over 500 calories. When I left I went to work and then broke down.
Why why do I have to do this all alone? I need to hear words of encouragement. I need praise now and then. I need people to see that I'm trying to get rid of this fat me and that I'm making a change. Why am I all alone, where is the friendship and support that I share with everyone else?
Spring Break came and I spent more time trying to fix my floors and and run here and there and little to no ME time. I barely exercised and ate horribly. I feel guilty and frustrated with myself. So today was our first day back to normal routine after Spring Break and I set out to get back with the program. A co-worker was supposed to meet me at the gym after route and didn't show up. I don't know why I let it bother me so much but it did. I feel all alone with no support. I am Team Captain of our Walk Kansas team and really thought our group would stick together and support each other. I think I was wrong. I was on the treadmill and 20 minutes in when it hit me hard. Cheri you are alone! Nobody will ever be here for you. You can't depend on anyone but yourself. If you give up it's all on you. All of these thoughts and more just came rushing in. The more I thought about it the angrier I got and the harder I pushed myself. I kept watching the door hoping my friend would show... he never did. It was all I could do to keep from crying there in public. I kept composed and finished my workout putting in 50 minutes of exercise and burning over 500 calories. When I left I went to work and then broke down.
Why why do I have to do this all alone? I need to hear words of encouragement. I need praise now and then. I need people to see that I'm trying to get rid of this fat me and that I'm making a change. Why am I all alone, where is the friendship and support that I share with everyone else?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)