Frustration

Today is my first blog so we will see how this goes. About three weeks ago I bought a Go Wear Fit and began my journey to a healthier and happier me. I began this Journey weighing 307.5 lbs. with little to no daily exercise, unless you count walking to and from my bus every day. I am happy to say that I am currently 299 lbs and on my way. Two weeks ago we (co-workers and I) had the opportunity to participate in Walk Kansas 2010. Timing couldn't have been better since I was just beginning my own personal challenge. With that being said I have had a very rough last week or so.
Spring Break came and I spent more time trying to fix my floors and and run here and there and little to no ME time. I barely exercised and ate horribly. I feel guilty and frustrated with myself. So today was our first day back to normal routine after Spring Break and I set out to get back with the program. A co-worker was supposed to meet me at the gym after route and didn't show up. I don't know why I let it bother me so much but it did. I feel all alone with no support. I am Team Captain of our Walk Kansas team and really thought our group would stick together and support each other. I think I was wrong. I was on the treadmill and 20 minutes in when it hit me hard. Cheri you are alone! Nobody will ever be here for you. You can't depend on anyone but yourself. If you give up it's all on you. All of these thoughts and more just came rushing in. The more I thought about it the angrier I got and the harder I pushed myself. I kept watching the door hoping my friend would show... he never did. It was all I could do to keep from crying there in public. I kept composed and finished my workout putting in 50 minutes of exercise and burning over 500 calories. When I left I went to work and then broke down.
Why why do I have to do this all alone? I need to hear words of encouragement. I need praise now and then. I need people to see that I'm trying to get rid of this fat me and that I'm making a change. Why am I all alone, where is the friendship and support that I share with everyone else?