Why not me?

Here is another day... still not feeling well.  I managed to get up and go to work.  Feeling decent I drove my route then ran an errand or two and came home for break.  Time just flies by when I'm home.  I really needed a nap but didn't have time.  I called the Dr. office about 8:40am this morning but never heard back from them.  As the day progressed I began feeling worse.  My lower abdomen was aching and feeling heavy and my lower back felt a lot of pressure.  What is going on?
About 2pm I finally gave in and called the Dr. back and they wanted to see me but I either had to go as a walk in after 5pm today or wait until 11:30am tomorrow.  By the time I got off afternoon route I was miserable and the pressure in my lower back was getting worse.  The AZO is just not cutting it.  I went to the walk in clinic and finally was able to get some meds.  They wanted to put me on a three day med dose but I reminded them that three days didn't work last time.  They put me on a med I haven't heard of before for a week.  They think that maybe when I had it in January that we never completely got rid of the infection and that maybe I'm resistant to some of the meds.
This evening I have been having what seems to be spasms in my abdomen and lower back.  The Dr. said the infection has cause swelling and fluid retention and that is what is causing the discomfort on top of the urgency to have to urinate. I apologize for the whole TMI thing but that is who I am.  Sometimes too blunt.
I was in tears this afternoon because I feel like I'm losing. I want to exercise, I feel like being ill is causing me to slide backwards.  My body does not like to lose weight... it wants me fat.  I want to be healthier and thinner.  I want this illness to just go away and bother someone else. 
While sitting her writing this suddenly I am reminded of something a wise man once said to me.  Why not you?  He said why not you, you are strong, you are a fighter, why not you?  Trials come to those whom God feels are strong enough to handle them.  Even though sometimes we feel like we are being punished we need to look at it differently, these things make us stronger.  So guess what as frustrating as this is I need to find in myself what God see's and fight for myself.  I will get past being ill and then it is up to me to start over and do this once again.  Maybe this is to see if I will follow through because so many times before I quit or given up.
I'm hoping that tomorrow I have enough relief to get some real exercise it, I need it so bad.  My eating habits weren't bad today but they weren't good either.  I think I have momentarily lost focus and need to tighten the reins and hit things hard this next week.  I am strong and I can do this and I can do this by myself.  I will succeed!

Here are yesterdays final numbers:

Targets set by Armband: 3303 calories burned, 8000 steps, 30 min moderate exercise and 10 min vigorous

Actual for 4/12/2010: 3428 calories burned, 5948 steps, 40 min moderate exercise and 0 min vigorous exercise